A Bubble Away from Insanity
by VoyagerCat
Summary: Who will last longer, Captain Janeway or the bubbles?


Voyager 

"A Bubble Away From Insanity" 

By VoyagerCat 

Disclaimer . . . Paramount owns all Star Trek and related characters. Rated PG13 ©2001 

Authors note---Episode addition to Q2, or better yet, it's the best way to relax.   
  


Janeway closed her eyes, letting a sigh escape. Chakotay walked toward her, slightly concerned. Upon his approach, she opened her eyes speaking softly. 

"Commander, you have the bridge, I'm going to my quarters." She quietly slipped off the bridge. Chakotay knew precisely what was wrong with her. _Q, why the hell do you have to bring your problems onboard Voyager? _He started to pace the bridge out of frustration. 

Janeway had a plan, and she was in such a hurry to get to her quarters, she almost ran right over B'Elanna. Not missing a step, Captain Janeway just kept on going. "Captain, are you alright?" B'Elanna called after her commanding officer. Captain Janeway running through her ship, is not an everyday occurrence. B'Elanna received her answer from half way down the hall. 

"I'm fine, or at least I will be." Janeway had rounded the corner, disappearing from sight. B'Elanna just turned slowly, continuing on her way. _Q, what the hell did you do now? _B'Elanna changed her mind, and headed back to engineering. She didn't trust any Q. 

"Computer, engage privacy lock." Janeway was already half undressed, headed for the bath. A bubble bath was always the answer, and tonight was a triple dose of bubbles night. _Q, why do you do this to me? Can't you go back and bug Jean-Luc for awhile? I'm about one bubble bath away from insanity here. _Sliding into the tub was like heaven. There was enough bubbles to keep even Kathryn Janeway happy, for at least one hour. Resting her head against the back of the tub, she closed her eyes letting the warm bath start to relax her. The only part of Janeway that could be seen through all the bubbles, was her nose. She was content. 

_Splash_, the water level rose suddenly, sending some precious bubbles onto the floor. "Q! Get out, now!"__

"Kathy, I take it back, you're not a genius." Q was unaffected by her death glare. 

"Q, get out, I don't give a damn if you think I'm a genius or not." 

"Don't be so modest Kathy, I can't see anything through all the bubbles. Besides, I didn't come here to play, we've got a real problem on our hands." 

"Not we, you do Q. He's your Q, you deal with him, and not on my ship." 

"But Kathy!" Q almost looked pathetic. "I don't know what to do, and If we can't prove that he's changed, Q will be kicked out of the continuum." Janeway sighed, not for the first time tonight. Her frustration level was growing, knowing the only way to get rid of Q would be to help. 

"What Q needs is some structure, a little parenting. You need to set ground rules for him, make him understand that he can't just do what ever, and to whom ever he wants. He needs some guidance." The smile had returned to Q's face. 

"I take it back, you are a genius." Q leaned over to kiss her, but was rewarded with her foot. Kissing her foot, Q vanished. Janeway sunk lower into the tub again, noticing there was a permanent hole through the bubbles where her foot was now sticking out. 

_Damn, I was just feeling relaxed. Q, whatever you're up to, I don't want to know about it. _Closing her eyes, she let the warm, lightly scented bubbles calm her once more. 

"Doctor to Janeway." _Please, tell me I'm just hearing things? _The thought registered in her mind, as she was interrupted again. "Captain, please answer, I know you're there, somewhere under all those bubbles." At his mention of bubbles, her eyes popped open to see the E.M.H. on her monitor. She was just glaring at him. He was actually glad he wasn't in the same room with the Captain right then. 

"Doctor, do you mind?" Janeway growled in a low voice. 

"Captain, It's not like I haven't seen it all before, besides you're mostly covered in bubbles." Looking again, Janeway noticed she could now see both her feet sticking out from the bubbles. Wiggling her toes, she was clearly trying to ignore the Doctor. "Captain, are you even listing to me? We've got bigger problems than your melting bubbles." 

"That's what you think Doctor. If these bubbles melt away before I'm ready, you will be treating the Captain for insanity. Now go away." 

"But Captain, that little Q has taken my mobile-emitter, and he keeps making Seven's clothes disappear. You have to do something to stop him." 

"Just what would you have me do Doctor? I'm not Q's mommy, and I'm damn glad of that." She had put a soapy sponge over her face, trying to block out life, or at least the E.M.H. 

"Captain, you can't let him get away with this. You may not be his mother, but you're the closest thing he's got to one. He obviously needs some guidance, and maybe a good sound kick in the butt." 

"Then go find his father, and turn off that com link." She lifted the sponge from off her face to glare once more at the Doctor. "Now!" 

"But Captain!" The Doctor was rewarded with a wet sponge hitting the view screen monitor. "Fine Captain, just let Q destroy the ship, along with my emitter." His face vanished from the screen. Taking a deep breath, Janeway tried to relax again. Her bubbles were slowly dissolving. You could see the calves of her legs now. _Still plenty of bubbles left. I'll make it if there's no further interruptions._ Janeway had actually drifted off to sleep, when the unmistakable rising of the water in the tub, brought her back to her senses. 

"Q! What the hell are you doing? Get out!" 

"Aunt Kathy, what's the big deal? My father does this all the time." Janeway started counting to ten, but by the time she reached 19, she knew it was pointless to go any further. _I'm going to kill Q with my bare hands. _"Aunt Kathy, are you alright? You look like you're sick or something." 

"The or something is quite accurate Q. Now I suggest you get out of my tube, and stop causing trouble on my ship. I have had all the Q I can stand." 

"I'm just having some fun, humans are so boring. I'm just trying to liven things up around here." 

"By taking the Doctors holo-emitter, and Seven of Nines clothes? The only one that's having fun is you Q. I thought your father was going to take care of your little problem. Where the hell is he?" 

"He never has time for me, who knows where he is, and I don't really care anyway. He's just as boring as your crew." 

"What is it with you Q's, is it your mission in life to drive humanity insane? Can't you take care of your own problems?" Q was actually looking slightly distressed. 

"Aunt Kathy, I thought you were supposed to like me, after all you're my godmother." 

"Q, it would be much easier to like you if you didn't throw us into the path of the Borg, or pick on my crew. You can't do things like that to people, and expect them to like you." 

"Fine, I'll give the Doctor back his emitter toy. He's such a blabber mouth." Janeway almost had to laugh at that one, but kept a firm face directed at Q. 

"And?" Q rolled his eyes, but relented. 

"Fine, I'll give everything back." Q had vanished, but had one more thing to say. "But not Seven's clothes." The bubbles were dissolving, along with Captain Janeway's sanity. She sank totally under the water, to ignore life, or at least Voyager. 

Again, Janeway had relaxed enough to start drifting off, until she felt another presence standing by the tub. _If I pretend I'm dead maybe they'll go away._

"Captain." _Seven, I should have guessed. _Janeway slowly opened her eyes, ready to burn a hole right through Seven with her anger, until she saw what Seven was wearing. She started laughing, she just couldn't help it. "It's not funny Captain. That little Q has made everything else I put on disappear." Janeway just kept laughing. _I think I've truly lost my mind, _she thought asthe tears filled her eyes. Seven just watched her Captain, with a bit of concern in her expression. "Captain, I don't believe you're well, maybe you should go to sick bay and have the Doctor look at you." At the mention of the Doctor, Janeway managed to stop laughing. 

"I'm fine, I've seen enough of the Doctor, thank you. How the hell did you get in here anyway?" Seven just gave Janeway a curious look. 

"I'm Borg." 

"I'm Borg, what kind of answer is that?" Janeway reached for a new sponge, putting it over her face. 

"It means that your security override codes are not sufficient" 

"I guess I'll have to change that, wont I?" Janeway dropped the sponge from her face, looking directly at Seven again. "Seven, just what are you wearing anyway? It looks a bit like Neelix's curtains he hung up when we were in the Void." 

"You're correct Captain. I was left with little options." 

"Well one thing's for sure, It looks better on you than it did in the windows. I suppose you came here to borrow something to wear, so help yourself ,then get out. My bubbles are dissolving, and. I'd like to enjoy the rest of them in private." 

"Yes Captain." Seven walked out of the bathroom, leaving Janeway with bubbles that were only covering the more essential parts. She turned on the hot water, hoping it would produce more bubbles, then she sat back and relaxed again. _Maybe I can salvage something out of this bath after all,_ or so she thought. 

"Neelix to the Captain." _This isn't happening. What the hell does he want? _"Neelix to the Captain, please respond." Janeway muttered some very eccentric metaphors, before finding the affiancing com-badge buried under her pile of clothes. Grabbing for it, she considered answering Neelix hail, then changed her mind, dropping the com-badge into the water. She sat back again with a smile on her face, as she heard Neelix's gravelly voice fade away under the water. Her essentials were even slightly less covered now, but Janeway was determined to salvage what was left of her bath.She closed her eyes one last time. 

****** 

"Commander, what was that sound?" Neelix tapped his com-badge again, only to be met with the same gurgling popping sound as before, then it just faded away. 

"I'm not sure Neelix, It sounded like she dropped the com-badge in some water. I hope nothing's wrong, she's been pretty upset about this whole Q mess." 

"She's not the only one. I've heard complaints from almost everyone on the ship. She has to do something about Q, that's why I was trying to contact her." 

"I guess I'd better go make sure she's alright." Chakotay headed for the doors. 

"Commander, you better be careful, the Doctor said she bit his head off when he contacted her about his mobile-emitter." 

"Thanks for the warning Neelix, she probably wont let me in anyway." Chakotay headed for the Captain's quarters. 

Janeway could hear the door chime, once, twice, three times. She just sank into the water again, hoping to block out all life forms on her ship. "Kathryn, Kathryn are you alive?" She could faintly hear her name being called as she came up for air, she was holding the wet sponge. "Kathryn, what's the matter with you? I've been trying to get you to answer for five minutes." Chakotay's concern for Kathryn, was instantly replaced with a hundred emotions at once, most of them he hadn't felt for a long time. Chakotay had just realized he was standing in Kathryn's bathroom, staring at her nude body, clad only in a few minute bubbles, that were appropriately positioned over three main areas. His mouth dropped open, and try as he might, he couldn't get his body to turn around. Kathryn Janeway just smiled at him, but he never even noticed, his eyes were still on other parts of her body, floating just a layer of bubbles beneath his eyes. 

"Commander, you're staring." Chakotay said nothing, his mouth wouldn't move.. Janeway tried a different approach this time. "Commander!" Before he could react, he was hit square in the face with a soaking wet, soapy sponge. That brought him out of his reverie, but he didn't turn around, just gave her a wet drippy faced smile. "Commander, would you please turn around, I'm just about a bubble away from insanity here, and you are not helping." 

"That's not the only thing you're a bubble away from Kathryn." Noticing what he meant, she realized just why the Commander was staring so intently. The tinny bubbles that were left in the tub, didn't leave much to the imagination. 

"I see what you mean." Chakotay finally turned around. 

"I'm sorry Kathryn." He started to walk out of the bathroom, still holding the soggy sponge that was dripping all over him and the floor. He really did sound embarrassed, but Janeway's mood had change drastically. She was all smiles inside. 

"Wait, aren't you forgetting something?" To Chakotay, she sounded a bit too calm for the situation. 

"Kathryn, I said I was sorry, I don't know what else I can do. I wouldn't have come in here, but I was worried about you. I was with Neelix when he tried to call you. I'm truly sorry." He started to walk out again. 

"Chakotay, my sponge?" He stopped in mid stride, noticing for the first time what he was holding. _Why the hell do I let her effect me like this?_ But Chakotay knew exactly why. He loved her more than life itself. He just couldn't help it. He turned around slowly, locking eyes with her's, trying not to look anywhere else. "Can I have my sponge please?" Try as she might, she couldn't keep the smile from escaping. _What am I doing?_ But she too knew exactly what she was doing, and there was no stopping it now. 

"You mean this sponge?" Chakotay held the wet sponge up, just out of her reach. 

"That would be the one." His cute dimples were coming out to play. 

"Well, I suppose you can have it." Chakotay tossed the sponge into the tub, causing water to splash out all over the bathroom, and on him. By now, he was almost as wet as Kathryn. 

"Commander! Two can play this game." Janeway threw it right back at him, hitting him squarely in the chest. They were both laughing now. 

"Kathryn, this is no way for a Star Ship Captain to act. What am I going to do with you?" Her smile was all encompassing now, Chakotay was a goner. 

"I do have an idea of what you can do with me Commander." Chakotay advanced closer, not trying to avert his gaze any longer. 

"Really, what might that be Captain?" He was right next to the tub, which was a dangerous move, and they both new it. Without a flicker of doubt in her voice, she answered. 

"Since you're already wet, maybe you could join me.?" Janeway received her answer, by a boot stepping right into the tub. "Chakotay, maybe it would be best if you take off your clothes. After all, you've been ogling at me, now it's my turn." 

"You're the Captain." The clothes came off, all of them from boots to briefs. Kathryn was doing the ogling now, as her first officer stepped all the way into the tub. 

"Much better Commander." Chakotay moved over closer to Kathryn, then stopped suddenly. His expression had changed just as suddenly. For an instant, Kathryn Janeway was afraid he'd changed his mind. Afraid it was too late. 

"What the hell?" His hand came up out of the water, holding the offending object that had lodged under his backside. "Are you missing something Captain?" Janeway was laughing so hard, she could hardly breath. 

"Chakotay, the only thing I'm missing right now is, a warm body to cover me." Chakotay threw the offending com-badge across the bathroom. 

"Are you sure about this Kathryn?" He was still concerned about how she would react to him when it was over. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her now. 

"I do have one concern Chakotay." His expression was instantly worried, but Kathryn's smile was even more alluring. "What if Q is watching?" Chakotay busted out laughing. 

"Then he's about to get a lesson in what humanity is really about." Chakotay leaned down slowly pressing his lips to her's, as the last bubble was dissolved between them.   
  


The End   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
